How To Love Yourself

How To Love Yourself

I tend to judge myself more than I love myself. It’s easy for me to see and fixate on the things I don’t like about myself; like the fact that I’m only 5’2″, I’m heavier than I would like to be, my hair is too frizzy to manage, I’m a really impatient person, and I struggle with letting things go. How easy was that? It took all of 10 seconds.

But if you ask me what I love about myself my ability to answer that question would immediately be shattered and my thoughts redirected to another realm of thinking. If my brain were a computer screen you might see some of these words battling for space:

Selfish. Conceited. Self-centered.

Stuck-up. Arrogant. 

how to love yourself (pi)

Challenging What God Calls Beautiful

There’s a conflict that arises when you ask me to see the good in myself. I’m not sure where this conflict originated from and how it has become something that takes up space in my mind. Since when did it become wrong to love who we are? Why do I feel the need to shy away from love who God created me to be?

Why is it that when we identify with beauty in ourselves (inside and out) we have to battle the criticism others project on us?

It is not selfish to love who you are. It’s not selfish or conceited, self-centered or arrogant. There is nothing wrong with adoring who God created you to be.

Because God Said So..

Isaiah 55:9 tells us that God’s thoughts are higher than ours. And Psalm 139:17-18  reads:

How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand —
when I awake, I am still with you.

 So if God speaks so many precious thoughts about us that they would outnumber the grains of sand (like we have the ability to count every grain of sand anyway) surely it is okay for you to love yourself!

Why does this matter?

Well, here’s the kicker. I believe that how we think about ourselves and how feel about ourselves is a direct reflection of how we love on other people. Actually, that’s a biblical standard (Matthew 22:39).

Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’  On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

Matthew 22:37-40 (NKJV)

It’s important to love you because we are called to love others in that same manner.

So now that we have established a foundation and built a framework, let’s talk about this:

10 Ways to Love Yourself.

10 Ways to Love Yourself Fiercely #allthatmotivates http://wp.me/p4MPm4-zQ

1. Get on God’s level. 

God has a lot of inspiring things to say about you! We talked about a few of them earlier but in case you need more than that, check out some of the cool things God says about you.

2. Stop Comparing. 

Seriously, you were made to stand out! You were made to be different! You were made in God’s image and He calls you good. Actually He calls you very good (Genesis 1:31).

3. Know Your Strengths.

 In a world that like to flaunt our failures in our faces, it’s important to know what we are good at. Know your strengths and be proud of them. Use them to better yourself (or better yet the people around you).

You may also like: Fight Like A Girl

4. Take Care of Your Body. 

We take care of the things we love, right? So take care of yourself. Eat like you love your body, move like you love your body, and rest like you love your body. Be a good steward of you.

5. Be Gracious to your “down falls.” 

We can’t all be good at everything, but there’s no need to feel down about the areas of our lives that aren’t where we want them to be. Be gracious with yourself. Forgive your down falls and press onto greatness. Because you are great.

6. Support Yourself. 

Find ways to support yourself in your goals and dreams. And when you’ve done all you can on your own, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes asking for help is the best way to support yourself.

7. Speak Kindly to Yourself. 

Speak life, and throw criticism out the window. It has no place in your mind, heart, or life.

8. Find something you love to do and do it often.

I love to blog, dance, and sing. And trust me, I do them all often. It doesn’t have to be some big purposeful thing. It just needs to be something for you. Running, reading, swimming, sketching, DIY projects; ANYTHING. Find something to be passionate about and pursue it.

9. Live Life Like It Matters.

Because it does. The choices that you make, the things that you say, your day to day actions; they matter. You matter. Your opinion and your voice make a difference when you walk the talk. So live life like it matters. Advocate for yourself.

10. Love Yourself Where You Are At. 

Don’t wait. You don’t have to accomplish anything spectacular to become someone worth loving. Love yourself where you are at.

Now I know you’ve got some awesome tips to share too. I’d love to hear them! Drop you thoughts in the comment below!

Alonda Tanner


how to love yourself

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22 thoughts on “How To Love Yourself

  1. Loved this post! It so important to love yourself! When we realize how much God loves us, it’s so easy to love ourselves on every level. I resonated with number #4 while reading because i was just about to shove a doughnut in my mouth…..womp, womp, womp!…. Can pregnancy be an excuse? Haha! Thanks for sharing!

  2. As someone who didn’t used to love myself, God has taught me much. And, you’re right, you can’t really love others until you accept God’s magnificent love and love yourself. Thank you for the actionable steps.

    1. I’m glad you stopped in Tammy! I struggle sometimes with loving me but I keep drawing back to this truth! God’s creation is ALWAYS worth loving.

  3. This was AMAZING! I’m going to use your 10 points in a counseling session with a certain student who really needs to see her worth. Thank you for this post.

  4. Alonda,
    Great post! Such wisdom for such a young woman. I “love” numbers 2 and 5 and 8 and 9! : ) Loving God is the beginning of all that is right. Love Him and love for everything and everyone else (yourself included) will follow. Thanks!

  5. I love these tips. Thank you 🙂 Re: #1: When I was going through a really rough time (and that’s sort of an understatement) I was praying and asked, “How could you love someone like me? Don’t you see how flawed/selfish/etc I am?” I suddenly felt warm and peaceful and for a moment, had a vision of myself perfected and flawless. I felt him say, “Who wouldn’t?” I know he knows who I truly am, even when I lose sight of it.

    1. I have a hard time with it too, especially when I have those “not at my best moments.” So glad his love for me is stronger than weight of my weakest moments!

  6. Love your thoughts on this subject and the list is so good! God doesn’t want us to carry around guilt and self condemnation. Thanks for linking up at Life is Lovely!

  7. Oh this is such a wonderful post, THANK YOU for sharing it on our link-up! This one really hits home, I’m a terrible person TO MYSELF. I’m constantly beating myself up, and I make comments about myself sometimes and my husband has to tell me to STOP. I have a bad habit of comparing myself and our life to others and it causes lots of sadness and discouragement sometimes. God has us on a journey and THIS is where we are supposed to be at this moment, so I need to just trust Him!

    Thank you so much for sharing this 🙂

    1. The comparison bug is hard one for me to escape to sometimes. I’ve been doing this Bible Study called “I didn’t want to be that girl” and it really is what sparked this blog post. A day or two into it we started learning about our identity in Christ and all the good He has to say about us. It made me really stop and think. Now when I start to compare my mind instantly plays back the words I read in the Bible and in that study. It really is a great one! I definitely recommend it to ladies across the board!

  8. I liked the way you have described this beautiful thought. To love ourself is very important because we can only be happy if we first start loving ourself also what we are and how we feel.
    And last but not the least I personally found this article very touching & obviously important to feel the magic.
    Thanks
    Ellie

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